Elite Club

Well, I've officially crossed into my 42nd week of pregnancy which in my extensive 5-10 minute search on google means that I've joined an elite club of which only 5-10% of pregnancies go into.

Lucky me.

Don't get me wrong. I'm happy for her to bake in there and to be healthy. And I'm still holding out hope that she'll decide to make her entrance before the induction on Wednesday so I'm happy for 2 more days to give that a shot.

It just hurts. To walk. To sit. To stand. To lay down. I swear she's gained 5lbs in the last 2 days. And now she's doing this new thing where she's laying off to my left side and it just feels funky. Plus, since it's something new I can't help but wonder if it means something and wonder if she's okay in there. Fortunately her movements are keeping up so I think she's fine and I'm just being paranoid. She's pushed so far on my side,
 I can actually feel her little rump...at least, it better be that and not her head. She was head down on Thursday and I don't recall feeling a big flip! ;)

Well, since this will be one of my last posts, if not THE last post as a pregnant lady, I thought I'd finally get some belly pics up to show how I've grown through the last 9 months. I find it funny that the one I just took today actually looks smaller than some of the other ones. Maybe she dropped again! Maybe it's just the camera angle. ;)

Here I was pregnant and didn't know it yet. This was taken on a Saturday and I found out just 3 days later on Tuesday. I was about 6 weeks along at that point. Things were "late" so it was suspect in the back of our minds but I didn't want to let myself believe it. However, when Eric & I both came down with horrible head colds, he insisted I check before taking the cough medicine with codiene. I cried just knowing I was going to read another stupid negative but much to my surprise, God blessed us with a POSITIVE test result! 

21 weeks with the side view...ignore the jungle theme in the background of most of these. Roma's room is the only one with a full-length mirror! 

Here I am at 21 weeks shortly after getting a ton of maternity clothes from my dear cousin. She said this outfit would make me feel like a model - she was right. Be prepared to see it again in a couple more pics. ;)

This is me at 22 weeks. Boy, the iphone takes a fuzzy picture.

On our honeymoon at 26 weeks. I totally popped while we were gone! I went from no one saying anything to me about being pregnant to 4 strangers in one day asking when I was due.

At 27 weeks

At 32.5 weeks; I'm making a goofy I-look-like-I'm-trying-to-do-the-online-kissy-face-look-but-really-it's-my-I'm-concentrating-and-biting-my-lip-face but my hair looks great so I'm going with it ;)

At 33 weeks 5 days

35 weeks

If you read this blog regularly, you've already seen this one. This was taken at our shower with my family at 36 weeks.

At 37 weeks; a little disappointed that the pictures makes my cute shoes look like slippers. They're really an adorable pair of sandals.

And finally at 41 weeks and officially 1 day into my 42nd week. Notice the change of attire...yoga pants are my best friend these days. Helps I'm not headed into work either. ;)

You want me to come out of where?!

Seriously, Mom...I'm pretty comfy in here. Living space is getting a little cramped but it's nothing we can't handle. Just move an organ or two out of the way and I'll be fine...

I'm convinced this is what she's in there thinking because she seems as cozy as ever.

Tuesday I had all kinds of symptoms that had me thinking a completely natural labor was at least on its way and today I'm convinced of the opposite: that the doctor will yet again tell me that I'm 1cm dilated - just like last week and just like the week before and we'll be scheduling an induction to get her out before it's not healthy for her to be in there anymore.

I'm going to assume it means that you really love being close to Mama, Sonnie. Now if I can just convince you that I promise to hold you all you want and that you will enjoy the leg room on the outside. ♥   

UPDATE: So, exactly as predicted. Well, not exactly. I am still only 1cm dilated however she actually worked her way back up after she had dropped so low last week. Huh?!? Not sure exactly what that's all about but the induction has been scheduled for Wednesday, June 22nd at 8:30am.

I really, really want a natural labor so I'm a bit bummed that my body just isn't cooperating. The good news is that she still shows every sign of being super healthy, as do I. They did another ultrasound to measure her growth and it's on par with a healthy, reasonable weight gain based on her last scan; exactly the 1/2 lb a week they say they gain in the last month. I wouldn't mind a few extra prayers that my body at least preps more on it's own for the induction, even if I don't actually go into labor on my own. Doc said at this point, she wouldn't even be able to break my water easily. And of course, there's always the hope that I'll be the story of the person that goes from no symptoms to all of them in no time. Not really banking on it but you never know...

Week 40 Update - A balance

My little tracker on my phone app reminds me that as of today, I have 3 days until Sonnie's due date. I've been watching that ticker since it said I had 20-something weeks left. Now we're down to days. I can't believe it's here! She's going to be here any day now.

I know that not all babies come before their due dates. Or ON their due dates. Or even close to their due dates. There's a lot of them that go well past their due dates. Yet, last Thursday when I met with the doctor and she said that if I hadn't gone by this Thursday we'd be "making a plan," I took her seriously. Especially since she told me that if I were farther along, she'd just induce me then. With the potential gestational diabetes complications, I thought that meant this is what would happen and that today I'd walk out knowing the latest I'd be having my baby (and that it would fall into next week at the latest).

I don't know why I held onto that so much. I want a natural labor. I do NOT want to be induced. But, even though it's been well controlled, I am concerned about the risks of GD and what complications could arise in delivery and it gave me a positive behind the induction. I'd be okay. I would do my best to go natural even with the induction. I've dealt with a lot of "womanly" pain thru the years; this would just be the whopper and I'd get thru it.

Then today, what does she say? The EXACT same thing as last week: wait until your next appointment and then we'll set a date. I wanted to cry right there on the spot. And on the way home. And when I called my parents. And when I texted my brother. And when I emailed my cousin. And at dinner. And right now. It's ridiculous. I know that after discussing the fact that my GD has been in check all along, it's like the baby didn't experience it. She's not measuring big in any way and there's no indicator at this point that she is too big for a natural delivery. This is what I DO want - a chance to wait her out for a natural delivery. A baby that's so healthy we have the luxury to wait. It's just another week and she said we'd schedule it for early the next week so we're talking about 10 days, tops. NOT that big of a deal. So why am I so freaking emotional about it?

I'm reminded of an email a friend at work sent to me earlier this week. She just had her first little one last spring and she reminded me to cherish this time right now. It's special getting to be the one that carries her, feels her every move, knows when she's awake and when she's just hanging out. When she comes out, I'll be the only one that will know "so that's what you were doing in there!" I've been waiting for this feeling for over 8 years and it is more amazing than I ever could have given it credit for.

And this is where the balance needs to come in. Am I bummed that I don't have a more concrete date? Sure. But on the flip side, I will also cherish that I may have 10 more days (or who knows, maybe more!) to feel her flips and kicks and rolls and jabs and it just be the two of us. I get to have her with me anywhere that I go; I will enjoy it because I also know time will fly and it won't be long til I'll be crying because it'll be the first time I have to leave her.

So even though I'm going to let my emotions do their thing today and cry when I feel like it (hey, I am in my 40th week of pregnancy...I've earned the right to be irrational!), it'll be coupled with a joy of knowing her this close for a few more days and knowing that it won't be long at all until she's in my arms.

Week 39 - STILL ready for her arrival

Several weeks ago my officemate/longtime dear friend, Elizabeth, and I were discussing when we thought that Miss Sonnie may choose to make her arrival. We both had independently come up with Memorial Day weekend. We're both pretty intuitive people so it must be true.

Not. So. Much.

I know it doesn't hurt for her to stay in there a bit longer...in fact, for her brain development, I know it's good. But I also am learning why women start going bezerk in the last month waiting on their child to arrive. I know the doctor won't let me go over by anymore than 2 weeks so there is an absolute end date. However, when you tell people you have 2 weeks before your due date (giving a window of 4 weeks before the latest date baby could arrive), they start saying "Oh! Could be any day now!!"

And you begin to believe them.

Yes! It could be ANY day...like TODAY! Every morning starts to feel like you've got the potential to open the best present EVER only to have every evening turn into "well, maybe tomorrow..." I think if I knew that she wasn't coming til 2 weeks after my due date, I could just put my game face on and find something else to occupy my brain with but this not knowing is making me obsess over it. Not good.

So the goal this week: somehow, someway get my mind onto something different. Yeah...right. Well, I'll give it a shot anyway. I'm considering creating a couple crafty projects to occupy my mind. Especially since that whole nesting/cleaning thing seems to have passed. Actually, that was just the urge to get all the baby stuff in order...I seem to have very little care to do the last-minute scrub every square inch of the house stuff. I can't even bring myself to care about the dirty dishes in the sink and I only did laundry yesterday because I'm down to a minimal set of pants that are comfy. I might be able to throw myself into a fun crafty project though...got a little cradle for my step-daughter at a second-hand store that I could make super cute.

But even with those efforts, I'm sure I'll still feel every twinge, every cramp, every sign of tiredness or every spurt of energy as a sign that TODAY could be THE day. :) Here's hoping! ;)

Week 38 - Ready for her arrival

Birthing books read & hospital tour complete: CHECK

Baby Showers over & thank you notes sent out: CHECK

Extra items we still needed to get purchased: CHECK

Baby items all have a home & the house is finally in some sense of order (actually, it all works out much better than we'd originally set it all up): CHECK

Bassinet with Angelcare monitor (aka, Mommy's hope for sleep) hooked up: CHECK

Baby clothes, blankets, sheets, burp cloths, bibs, etc. through 3 months washed and put away: CHECK

Car seat & diaper bag ready to go: CHECK

Tutorial session on how to use what looked to be the scary (but wasn't so bad afterall) breast pump: CHECK

Hospital bag packed: CHECK

Major spells of nesting taking over even when completely wiped out: CHECK

Cramping, back pain and other random pre-labor symptoms intensifying: CHECK

Contractions happening at the slightest thought of physical activity: CHECK...(well, maybe not at the thought of it)

Actual labor beginning: WAITING...;)

Where I want to be

This room. This is where I find myself wanting to be.

It's the newly converted room for all of our little ones. It's the entire length of the upstairs so not only does all of their bedding fit but there is also a nice area in the middle for them to play with and easily store their toys. It's where all of the shower goodies have gone and all of the baby stuff is going.

I find myself wanting to be there all the time. Putting away her things. Organizing them. Double-checking the diaper bag for the 10th time to make sure everything really is in there and to look at the little-itty-bitty diapers that we'll start out with.

I love sitting in the rocker and thinking about holding her. My frame of reference right now is my 21-month-old stepdaughter...it's hard to imagine one that will just fit onto my shoulder. I can't wait to rock them both, one in each arm.

That room to me is so peaceful. A place where I can sense God so closely, knowing that it really was his voice that I was hearing all those times I felt this was in his plan for me. There were some dark days there for a while but things are looking brighter than ever now. God held my hand in the darkness and I'm enjoying the light that he's led me to. Something about this room encompasses that.

I'm down to just 3.5 weeks until my due date and in some ways it feels like an eternity. I think because I've run out of things to countdown to. There was the wedding, the honeymoon, the 3D ultrasound, the shower...and now, it's just counting down to her arrival which could be anywhere from later today to the end of June if I went over. And all that's left to do in the meantime is to get mine & Eric's bag packed for the hospital.

So while I wait, I'll retreat to the upstairs. I'll sing to her. I'll talk to her. I'll practice my breathing & relaxation techniques. I'll dream of the day that is very close when it will all be real, that she will be here in my arms and I will know the joy of holding a child that I've already held in my womb. ♥

Baby Shower Day Update

We had such a fun day at the shower on Saturday! We started out with all the girls (so as not to torture the boys with all that ooh-ing and ahhh-ing over gifts) and then had a cookout with the entire family in the evening. I didn't take many pictures with my camera so I'll have to do a little probing with family to get some of theirs!

A family photo with my parents & brother's family; our kids were all there but too scattered about to round up! :)

The pretty & very big spread!! Someone knows how much Mama loves yellow! ;)

Blessed with so much from an amazing family!!

Closer shot of all the goodies :)

My cousin Jen picked out this bag having no idea that the car seat & stroller were these EXACT colors!! Her bag is packed and ready to go for the big day!

I'd posted of a closet take-over picture before the room switches. Here's the new version; we had to add an organizer for all of her stuff!

♥ Happy Baby Shower Day!! ♥

I'm so excited!! It's Baby Shower Day with our family! :) A shower with the girls and then a cookout with everyone. I can't wait! And one step closer to Lil Miss' arrival! Wahoo!

One Month from TODAY!!

Just one short month from today, Sonnie is due to make her arrival!! Wahoo!!

Went to the dr. this week and things are looking good as far as her size and my sugar levels. I was 35w 2d at my appointment and she was around 5.5 pounds...well, according to the not-so-accurate ultrasound anyway. But close enough to average that the doc felt good about it.

He did want me to start coming in for a non stress test (NST) twice a week, but just as a precautionary measure since having GD makes me technically a "high risk" pregnancy. Sounded kind of daunting at first until I did that first one. For about 20 minutes, I got to be in a quiet room, in a comfy leather rocker-recliner, with a stack of magazines next to me and they just hooked me up to a monitor that I can listen to her heartbeat and then it notes any movement she makes. Some people have to mark the movements they feel but I didn't even have to do that - their machine does even that for me! And since the office is RIGHT down the road from work, I don't think I'll cry about having to take a lunch twice a week to do this. ;)

Got some other things on my mind regarding some reading I've been doing on hypnobirthing, the history of women giving birth, and some claims made that the original Hebrew regarding the "labor" women would go through as, instead, "pain" in childbirth in Genesis may have been changed in the early second century translations at a time when women were treated their worst in history. Hmmm, a definite to look into....but that'll have to wait for another post. Just a teaser for now - gotta head out the door soon!

Just wanna stay home today...

Okay. Scratch the office/sorta-nursery plan. The 3 little ones are all moving upstairs. We're moving into the office downstairs. Which means...lots to do: bring it on!! We spent much of Sunday & Monday like rearranging fools and last night we shopped for the things we needed to get it all into place.

The last thing I want to do is go to work. I want to stay home and set everything up!!

Eh, better get myself in there. I just needed to say publicly that I would very much prefer the jobs that are awaiting me here rather than at the office. ;)

Pregnancy Update - Week 34

Kicked off the beginning of week 34 with a fun Easter day at my parents' church and then to their house for lunch. We had all the kiddos with us which was so nice. They all seemed to have a good time and it's always good to be with family. I was really bummed that it was too wet to do the Easter Egg Hunt that Mom had worked so hard on. It was hard to imagine keeping the little ones from being totally covered in wet & mud though. This rain can seriously let up any time now...(just jinxed us for a summer drought, didn't I?)

Then on Monday my awesome co-workers had a shower for the baby! I did a great job in remembering to bring the camera to work. I did not do such a great job in remembering to bring the camera to the room the shower was in! :( So...I took pictures of all the goodies once I got them home. While those are wonderful, I sure wish I had pictures of the awesome people behind all those goodies though.



All of the presents prior to removing them from the gift bags. I wouldn't let myself until I had the thank you notes done! :)




All the goodies out of the gift bags (except that all the diapers and wipes are consolidated into a couple gift bags). I love all the colors of blankets, outfits, etc. that people chose. My co-workers have such great taste!!




And she begins to take over this closet...

 Side note on the closet: It had to be cleaned out and while all of this baby prep is going on, there's also been some tax refund...uh, fun. Yeah...we'll call it "fun". I short I had to find receipts related to the adoption (from 2008!!). I thought I couldn't find a handful of the most important ones but in the final sweep of cleaning out this closet, there they were! I didn't realize how much that was weighing on my mind until the weight was lifted! Whew!

Then also on Monday, Sonnie's travel system arrived! (Thank you Memaw & Papap!) The stroller isn't together yet but I took a picture of the car seat. It's sooooooooo pretty!! I can't believe that this little person that once never was will soon be riding around in our car with us in this very seat.



It's soooo pretty!! Sonnie will be very classy. :)


We'll also be getting our rocker-recliner this week for the nursery/office. (Thank you Grandma & Grandpa!) We picked it out last week and are able to pick it up this week. We were thinking a glider rocker but after some thought, decided we wanted something that you could fall asleep in if you wanted to, so a La-Z-Boy it is!



This chair is summoning my aching back as I type...


Tomorrow I head in for my 34 week check up which is the last appointment that I'll schedule 2 weeks out when I leave. After that, I'll see the dr. every week. And at the 36 week appt I'll get another ultrasound to make sure she's not too big due to having gestational diabetes. My numbers have been pretty decent so I feel confident it'll be okay.

And Saturday I'll kick off the start of week 35 by heading to see Mary Poppins with my cousins Amy & Christy!! I can't wait!

Pregnancy Update - Week 32

Feels crazy to say I'm in Week 32. The numbers seem to be ticking away faster and faster. It's a good thing because I'm starting to get impatient - I want to meet Sonnie face-to-face!! I don't typically like to wish time away but since the hospital tour and the 3D ultrasound, my excitement has gone into overdrive. :) I've always been a very visual person so it's not surprising that by adding such a clear image of her face to my mind makes every kick and twist and turn that's going on in my belly so much more real. Maybe that sounds weird but it's true. I can better picture where she is (especially since I know she's head down already too) and what it feels like she may be doing in there. I had an especially strong visual the night she started using my ribs as a kick board. ;)

Physically, I'm feeling very 8 months pregnant. In some ways it's kinda fun...I'm sure there are people who think I'm crazy for saying that but when you previously began to sadly accept that you'd never do the pregnant waddle, there really is joy in catching yourself doing it. And I love the nurturing part of rubbing my belly...I do it all the time without even realizing that I am. I feel very blessed to share this connection with her and in spite of the discomfort, there's a lot to this that I really enjoy. Not to be unreal about what's happening though, this is all heavily accompianied by plenty of discomfort: there's leg pain, back pain, difficulty getting up, difficulty getting comfortable, etc. but the insomnia is about on my last nerve...it's been heightened this week by a wretched cough that's keeping me up more than anything. If this cold follows it's typical historical pattern, I've still got a few days to go before the cough will subside. I've ended up on the couch the last few nights to better prop myself up but mostly just to give poor Eric a reprieve from my incessant coughing, but I hate sleeping separate from him.

Which highlights my emotional state: increasingly impatient/moody.

I've always been one to have very heightened cycles. I get major mood swings and it's not just during that week but in the weeks leading up to it as well (sorry if this is TMI to any boys reading - fact of life though!). I assumed b/c of that, I'd be an emotional wreck all through this pregnancy. Much to my surprise, I've actually been fairly even keel. At least not beyond just normal moodiness that is simply part of being a human, anyway. Oh but these last few weeks, I feel my patience slipping from me. I'm more easily irritated. I'm also just more emotional overall, crying more easily and yes, even over not getting to sleep next to my husband b/c I'm coughing too hard for him to sleep at all. The first night I finally gave in to sleeping on the couch, I started out TICKED off by the coughing (like that crazy "oh, she's got that look in her eye; better get back" ticked off). Then I started crying b/c I was lonely for Eric, and then finished crying b/c I was so happy to be so lonely for my husband who was only a floor away. Yeah, I think it's clear that I'm kind of a hot mess right now. You might consider praying for those who have to deal with me regularly. :)

Something I posted about a few weeks ago was our need for a new vehicle. Well, Eric took the reigns on that and we are now the proud owners of a 97 Honda Odyssey MiniVan!! Don't let it's age fool you. It's a great vehicle - only 80,000 miles and it's been my experience that Honda vs. other car years are the same as people to dog years. Any other car you think 80,000 is getting up there but this van's just getting started! :) Got a 250,000 mile Civic to prove it. Okay, Honda commercial over... I'm just so impressed with Eric's find on this. And it was so nice that he just took care of it. I've never felt comfortable with the car buying process so for him to just handle it without my involvement was an act of true love in my eyes. ;) One night he's doing a quick look for things online and by the next afternoon, we were heading in to pick it up. Here's a picture of our newbie...

For Eric's sake, I'll have to take a new one with the hubcaps that are now all one color but for the time being, this will do.  We keep calling it a CarVan b/c it's just not all that big on the outside. Especially not for how roomy it feels on the inside. It's so nice to have a vehicle we can all ride comfortably in.

Well, I think that covers the Week 32 update. On this weekend's agenda is to get the office/where-a-lot-of-baby's-stuff-is-going-but-it-won't-be-a-full-fledged-nursery cleaned up so we can actually fit her stuff in it. And if there's time, maybe check out recliners. After that, it's just a matter of having baby showers and setting things up. Work is throwing me a shower on the 25th and the family one is a month from today on May 14th. I'm so excited about both. My dear friend/office mate, Elizabeth, asked me about preferences for the work one and my reply sums up where I am: "I don't really have preferences about the food & presents. I'm just excited to have a party to celebrate that I'm actually having a baby!" I think I'm most excited to just have the time to gush about all of her kicks and moves and how I'm feeling and how she's doing. I know I'm gonna risk sounding cheesy here but I don't care b/c it's how I feel: I'll be so grateful for the work that goes into the food prep and the presents of course but really, it's about celebrating this amazing miracle that's growing inside of me. God's blessed us with an amazing gift - what could be better than that?!? :)

3D Ultrasound Pics!!

So we had our 3D ultrasound today and it was SO much fun!! I was already looking forward to it but enjoyed it even more than I anticipated. I just had to hop on here to post pics.

All curled up in a ball :) This didn't surprise me at all because that's about how it feels that she's laying most of the time. I'm hoping it means she'll be a little cuddle bug.



The chubby cheeks picture - so cute!!



With her little hand up by her face. There was a LOT of effort that went into all of these pictures to get any without her hands completely in front of her face!



This one is my favorite - I love that little pointer finger. And I love this one b/c it seems like you can really tell what she looks like. Such a clear picture. Mommy thinks she is just the most beautiful baby she's ever seen. ♥

Between the baby stuff that's starting to come in, the hospital tour we had on Sunday and these pictures, I'm suddenly very impatient for June to get here!! ♥ I'm smitten...absolutely smitten. ♥ 

Apparently it's in week 31...

My last post title asked when nesting takes precedence over a nap. My title this time answers that. As of last weekend, we had one dress purchased, a travel system chosen but not purchased and a few things thought out in our minds of how to rearrange furniture to accommodate one more person and all the stuff that comes with one that size. No birthing classes taken. Not really anything beyond the pre-natal care was taking place. Since last weekend, here's what we've accomplished:

• Rearranged the living room (not a small feat since it involved mounting the TV to the wall, running some different wiring, etc.)
• Cleaned the basement (had to find a place for all the stuff that no longer needed to go in the living room to be without it just going into a messy pile; a project that had been on my mind every time I'd head down to do laundry)
• Bought & assembled new dining furniture - fits MUCH better with the space we have!! We could actually all 5 sit down for lunch yesterday and not feel like we were on top of each other.
• Picked up Sonnie's crib - a hand-me-down from a friend along with a mattress, sheets, a never-opened bumper pad, and a boppy pillow. This is the same friend that handed off a bunch of maternity clothes to me - she's spoiled me rotten!!
• Ordered our travel system - it's the 2011 version of the one I posted about a few posts ago. It's so freaking pretty. Eric said I better hope this baby really is a girl b/c it's MUCH more girly than I'm giving it credit for. Guess we'll get further confirmation when we head to our 3D/4D ultrasound on Tuesday!! :)
• Registered at Babies R Us - that took a lot more time than I gave it credit for. We didn't even have anywhere near as much to register for b/c a lot of the big items we already have, were getting used from someone or knew we wanted it from another store. My son, Roma, tagged along for this and did all the scanning which I think he really enjoyed.
• Went to do our hospital tour - we had a great nurse doing our tour. She was very reassuring and I felt comfortable there. I actually got quite emotional during two times that she started discussing ways the mother & baby bond through skin-to-skin contact or "kangaroo care". I don't know why but I teared up both times (in a good way). I'm so looking forward to her arrival. :)

So where napping was taking precedence before, nesting is starting to take over. Oh, that and insomnia. Now that I'm in my last week of my 7th month, I'm reeeeeeaaaalllllyyyyy feeling like I'm in my THIRD trimester. It's hard to get up and down. My back hurts a lot more. My legs hurt. And sleeping might as well be an afterthought. The effort it takes to turn over coupled with the foot in my rib (at least I think that's what she's doing in there...whatever it is, it impedes sleeping!) or the fact that on my right side I can't breathe as well but on my left side my hip goes numb, I've just given up. I'll start sleeping better in 2014.

There's still a lot to do. Mainly in our office where a lot of her stuff will go. Our closets need some MAJOR attention - they're the spots that have potential to put stuff but we are definitely not using those spaces wisely. You know when you move and you've got that stack of stuff that you know you should really go through but just don't have the energy to so it all gets shoved somewhere? That's the essence of nearly all of our closet space. Oh, and there's the whole idea of purchasing a different vehicle that we can all fit into. The 4-door civic isn't quite going to cut it with 2 car seats, a booster, and 3 more people! Not that the need is there all the time but when it is, I don't want to deal with driving separately everywhere we go. So that's on the not-too-distant to-do list.

But for now, it's time to start another week at work. Roma starts a new quarter this week at school and he's really excited to get his report card from the last one. Grades went up AGAIN!! Wahoo! And he starts track meets this week. (I'm really hoping the weather starts improving for these meets. I don't think my immune system can handle sitting out in cold rain!!) Talk about two different worlds. Registering for baby gear one week; heading to track meets the next. Wouldn't have it any other way. :)

At What Point Does Nesting Take Precedence Over a Nap?

Week 29 this week which means only 11 weeks until Lil Miss Sonnie is due to make her arrival! You know, saying that I'm 29 weeks along makes it sound like there's a lot left to go in the pregnancy. But saying that there are 11 weeks left makes it sounds like I have a LOT to get accomplished before she arrives! I kinda started a registry but I really need to go finish it out (especially since everything I picked out in my online registering were things that could only be purchased online-whoops!). And I need to pick out a rocker. And should probably pick a pediatrician. And read up a bit more on labor & delivery...I've heard about this "walking epidural" that gives you relief from the pain without as much medication (e.g., your legs don't go numb hence the "walking" part). I'd like to check into that. And get the room that a lot of her stuff will go in ready. And go pick up the crib that's been offered to us.

Yet, none of that sounds as appealing as a nap. 

I'm sure my drive to do more will pick up. That somewhere along the lines the "nesting instinct" will hit full-force and I will accomplish many great and wonderful things. I had goals for that this weekend. Great lofty goals. They just got interrupted by naps. Oh well...

In talking with bestie Amy, I said that while in many ways Sonnie is my first (first pregnancy, first child that has a chance of looking like me, first newborn), there's a LOT of ways that she's my fourth too (too many things going on with the other 3 kids to really give that overdrive of attention that the first baby typically gets). I don't think that's all bad. Had she been my first in every way, I'm sure I would've been obsessive over all of this stuff. I would've stressed over if this was the right thing to do or if that was the right thing to do. Things would've had to be more "perfect". But this way, I'm just along for the ride and loving every minute. Not to say there aren't things I can get obsessive or worried about but it's really been minimized compared to the potential that's there. There are days that I'm envious of the posts I read on an online board from other FTMs (first time mommies) where they spent their evening playing "tag" with the baby in their bellies for hours, so they say. I've only accomplished this game once and it lasted about 5 minutes. But I also feel so bad when I read about those moms obsessing b/c their baby didn't move for an hour and they're ready to run to the ER. I have to stop and think, "did I feel her move today while I was at work? Oh of course...she was thumping on my bladder like a trampoline in the middle of that meeting! How could I forget?!" I'm sure there were times where she didn't move and I didn't notice. And that's okay. I've got enough awareness that she's got regular movement throughout the day to let me just be at peace and not riddled with worry. It's a nice feeling.

Speaking of things to worry about, I feel like I should update from the last post about my drs appt regarding GD (gestational diabetes). I was very pleased to learn that the doctor not only feels I don't need shots but I also don't need any medication either. Just diet and exercise. Of course. Because I was so good at that before getting pregnant... No seriously, I'm very pleased that this can be managed in that way and I can avoid having to add any meds to my bloodstream. I got my little One Touch at-home glucose testing kit and have to prick myself 4 times a day, 4 days a week. So far my numbers are within the ranges that they want. Ah-hem, well, except for the post-meal reading and the next morning reading after I over-indulged on Pizza Cottage Saturday. We'll call it a lesson in learning about my limits. :) My morning reading today was fantastic though so healthy eating gets me right back on track. I'm sure the 45-min (but very slow) hike helped on Sunday too. There were even hills involved!

So while there are worries to be had like, how in the world will I get everything accomplished that I want to before she comes?!?, there are also the blessings of the current kids in my family to remind me that it'll all be okay. When she comes, she'll work her way into the family just like each of them have and as long as she's got a safe place to sleep, diapers and a food supply, she'll be set for a while.

And in the meantime, while I've still got a fighting chance, I'm taking a nap.

Third Trimester!!

Well, it's official. Despite my little pregnancy ticker which is off by 2 days, I'm officially 3 days into my 28th week which also means 3 days into my third trimester! Feeling pretty good still though I have to plot now how I will get up from the couch and out of the car. Ha!! I did find out that I have gestational diabetes so I'll head to the dr today to find out what all that will entail. So far it sounds like they'll manage it with meds & diet since my numbers weren't incredibly high. They actually said "we're going to treat it as though you have gestational diabetes" rather than "whoa, sister! You've got it!!" At this point I have 12 weeks until my due date and as my dear friend/cousin Amy said, "You can do anything for 12 weeks!" Even watching my sugar intake ;) At least with proper monitoring, the pregnancy has a really high chance of maintaining just fine and the baby can remain healthy. And that makes me happy. :)

So, since I should not spend a lot of time on here so that I'm not late, I'll wrap up with a picture of the travel system that I've picked out for Sonnie. While I do love the color pink, I am not all that crazy about having pink everything for the baby. I want lots of bright colors like yellows, oranges, & reds. If we were doing a nursery, it'd be all yellow & orange. But since Graco doesn't do much in those colors (that I like anyway...they were all too pastel for my taste), I did some searching and found this darling set. Not glaringly girly but enough flair for Mommy (without too much flair for Daddy!).

That trim is in red, not hot pink by the way. Of course Graco is no longer supplying it but I did find a website from a store based in CA that has it. Graco's also coming out with a different travel system in the same pattern in April if that doesn't work out. Here's hoping one works out. Mommy's got her heart set on it. ;)

Oh, and one more thing...went to a Thirty One party to benefit a friend's adoption and bought a pair of these for Sonnie with her name embroidered on them in place of "Princess":

I've been so blessed with offers of hand-me-downs for so many things (not to mention all the stuff we already have on hand for my step-daughter) that I haven't bought her anything but one dress the day we found out she's a girl. I'm so excited about this diaper cover though! It'll make for the cutest lil newborn picture! :)

Okay, enough baby talk...I really must go!

Pregnancy Update - Beginning Week 25

Okay so this is the place for all the little things that I really want to blab non-stop but don't want to be THAT person. ;) This week's been okay. Eric and I have both been sick almost all week. It started last weekend when I took a nap on both Saturday and Sunday. It was easy enough to say that it was the result of my body creating a human but I feared it was more. Sure was. By the time I was trying to sleep Monday night, I knew that the head cold was starting to take over and it had already done so with Eric. :( All I could envision was wedding pictures with matching red noses - not exactly what I'd dreamed about. So far today, while we're both still super tired and the sniffles and coughs aren't totally gone, we are certainly on the mend and things are looking better for tomorrow. :)

My first trimester I took things really easy. I had a couple times where I'd tried walking or going about my day-to-day routine without putting much time in for rest and my body let me know I needed to take it easy. So between that and the crappy weather since then, I've not done much in the way of exercise. Yesterday it was gorgeous though so Eric and I went for a walk. It was only about 10 minutes into the walk (and too far from the house to do anything about it) that I remembered a fabulous little belt that my cousin/BF gave me that would've made a huge difference in the level of support I needed for this new weight I'm carrying around. It was about a 1/2 hour walk and by the end, I definitely needed to lay down for a bit. No way I'll do another walk without that support belt. But I am excited for the nicer weather and to get out and try it again!

It's been great feeling all of her little moves and twists and turns! Still not feeling much in the way of true "kicks" and "jabs" but TONS of twitches and movement. And so far she loves oranges, orange juice, orange popsicles and spicy things, most especially the Mariachi pizzas at Donatos with no meat (nice b/c it's basically a veggie pizza at that point. Mmmmm...I've always liked those but it's definitely crossed into craving-love! Last night I wanted ice cream pretty bad but that's nothing new. ;)

And finally, this week I scheduled our 3D/4D ultrasound for April!! Thank you, Amy & Greg! Honeymoon in March. Ultrasound in April. Shower in May. Baby in June. LOTS to look forward to! :)

I ♥ This

So last night, I'm trying to fall asleep. The routine the last couple nights has been that just as I settle into that pre-sleep breathing pattern, the baby starts to move like crazy. It's not so good for battling insomnia but otherwise lots of fun so I'm thoroughly enjoying our little ritual. I've felt her in different spots and for the most part, it's all just seemed like twitches. Nothing that's felt like a definite kick or jab quite yet. Last night though, she found my bladder and I am pretty sure was using it as a trampoline! Or maybe a punching bag? I thought at first that I could just lay there and it would stop but it just got more and more intense. A couple flips of my own and she was back to her twitches. Part of me wanted to stay there just because this was the most I'd felt her up to this point but considering my concern with having a bed-wetting accident, I decided to find a new position.

I've gotta say (again!) that I LOVE all of this. I love being pregnant. I love the way I feel. I know I could easily be one of those people who posts 5 times a day on Facebook about my every symptom and flutter and excitement - I just don't want to be that obnoxious! So I'll just post it on here - Ha! As one who has always struggled with her weight, I've not always had a strong confidence in my body; infertility only compounded that when I felt like my body didn't work the way that it should. But this has changed all of that so much. I feel strong and beautiful and glowing. I have such a huge respect for the miracle going on inside of me. I can't wait for her to get here but in some ways, it seems like it's all going so fast. This part has been so exciting...I don't want to rush it.

Pictures of Our Promise

Pictures of our beautiful baby girl on the way...I'm already a proud mama, can you tell?!? :)

Her face with her mouth closed...

Her face with her mouth open...

Her lil' itty bitty baby foot :)

Her spine; I couldn't see it at first but now that I've studied it (yes, studied it!) I think you can faintly see a profile of her head with her thumb up to her mouth. That's what I'm going with anyway - makes me like the picture more! Hehe... 

Me just having fun with photoshop!



Can't wait for you to get here, Sonnie! ♥ Mommy

A Promise

It was sometime in 2007. I was plugging away at adoption paperwork feeling like it would never get to where it needed to be in the insane timelines they were requesting it to be there. This was an international adoption of a child in Ukraine and their system isn't exactly known to be smooth-sailing. It seemed like the rules changed every time I turned around and it was pushing my limits of sanity for sure. I thought the struggles of infertility were an emotional roller coaster but at this point, I'd deemed this to be worse.

On one particularly draining day, I opened my bible to seek out some comfort with this. Now, I'm not typically the type to close my eyes and pick a verse and call it divine inspiration but on this day, it seemed warranted. I didn't have the energy or hope for much else so I went for this method anyway. I was a bit shocked at how specific God was with me that day when I opened my bible and my finger was resting on Isaiah 60:4b (NASB)...

"Your sons will come from afar and your daughters will be carried in the arms."

Huh?! Did I just read that right? I was expecting a "trust in the Lord..." or "he meets your every need" kind of statement. Not something 1) specifically about a son or 2) about that son coming from "afar"!! And then the kicker with the daughters part. I was so engrossed with the sons part of the verse that I didn't talk as much about the daughters part. But I knew it in my gut at that minute that it was God saying I'd somehow, someway have a baby girl that I'd carry in my arms. And even though I knew there were a host of ways that I could come to parent a baby girl, I really felt that I would carry this baby myself.

This week was the ultrasound for the baby where we could find out what gender it is. I have been so sure since the minute that the little stick said "pregnant" that this baby would be a girl. Talking with my fiance about it even that night, I kept referencing it as a girl knowing that there's no way I should know that. Especially since it took weeks before I really believed that I was actually pregnant. When the doctor said with 99% certainty that it's a girl, I was not shocked one bit.

I love how God communicates with us in so many different ways. This time is was incredibly specific and while it took about 4 years to come to be, it did. It was what was in the back of my mind every time I thought that I should just give up and let go of this whole dream of carrying a child. This little girl, who is healthy in every way they could check her, is beyond a miracle to me. She is the fulfillment of a promise. A promise that I am and will be forever grateful for.