Meeting goals even if the scale and I disagree!

So I've been focusing more on working out this week while still maintaining my nutritional goals and despite that, the scale has been my enemy. Usually, I try to just weigh myself once or twice a week but when PMS kicked in last weekend and I watched my mid-week weigh-in go up on my actual weigh-in day (still a loss overall though), I can't seem to stay away from the scale. I just can't believe it - there's no way! Most days I've been well within my daily calorie range and exercising. How could I be gaining like the scale says?!? Well, I've decided I'm waging war against it and I'm going to keep doing what I know I need to be doing no matter what it says or how bezerk it is! Stupid numbers won't keep me down. I FEEL better - I'm focusing there!

So in fitness goal #1, I've been on the hunt for videos this week that are motivating for me to use for exercise. I checked out Netflix where there are TONS of videos on demand. I started with a 10 minute solution video and I love them! I love knowing that I've only got to get through those 10 minutes before it changes up. Today I did cardio, worked my abs and did yoga. I really like the mix-and-match aspect of them and there are SOOOOOOOOOOOO many of them. It'll be a while before I'd become bored with these!

The other goal I had this week is to find some type of fitness goal to work towards. I thought that a 5k was out b/c, due to my summer knee injury (I dislocated my kneecap - OUCH!!), I can't run. BUT, so many people suggested finding a 5k walk/run - what a great idea!! So I've done a hunt of 5ks in my area and I think the best one will be a 5k on November 13th in the Central Ohio area - it's a Turkey Trot for a local YMCA and sounds like it'll be a lot of fun. That gives me 30 days to prep for it. I'd love a buddy so if anyone in my area wants to join me, let me know! :)

So there, scale!

♥Meg

23/24 ain't bad

Today did not exactly produce a stellar report on the ole Nutrition Tracker. Not too incredibly horrible but it did remind me of the weight watcher days and thinking - this would've been a use-the-extra-35-points day! The kicker hasn't been so much in the amount that I've eaten; it's what I ate that got to me.

I've been on such a kick with this from a nutritional standpoint and being lucky to find some really great recipes that I hadn't really realized that since I started, greasy foods nearly went off my list. Even the pizza I blogged about last week wasn't greasy b/c it was all veggie toppings! So when I had 5 chicken wings today, I knew I was taking a calorie risk. I knew I was taking a risk w/my goals of where my calories come from (carbs, fats, protein). What I didn't even think twice about was the pile of lead that it would create in the bottom of my stomach and remain there aaaaalllllllllll day. Ugh...

You know, usually between something like that and the PMS and the cramps (sorry boys), I would've given up on the day. It would've been the same thing so many of us have struggled with - "well, blew that. I'll start fresh tomorrow - bring on the ice cream!" But boy does the tracker make a difference with that! ONE - who knew how many calories were in a lil itty bitty chicken wing?!? and TWO - holy cow...I've still got a shot of staying w/in my calorie range!! I did go a bit over but not anywhere near as much had I not paid attention in the meantime. And while I hadn't yet gotten my exercise in and wasn't sure if I would, I decided that I didn't want to go to bed w/o at least that sense of accomplishment so I did that (doing exactly what every expert will tell you - it made me feel better! Lead belly's still there but I sure feel better emotionally!)

So while I still sit here w/my stomach letting me know that we're not doing fried foods like that again for a while, I'm pretty proud. I didn't let it stop me from my exercise goals. I didn't let it carry over into other meals. Really, I just had one bad hour in my day. And I'd say 23/24 ain't bad. ;)

♥Meg

My Reward List

Okay so I've seen a lot of people on SP have a "prize" list so to speak. It's really a reward list for meeting goals and I think it's time I've made one for myself. :) So here goes:

Lose 10 pounds: A cute, girly, very me & only mine (not just the boring stuff that's been beat up by my son) water bottle

Lose 15 pounds: A cute, girly, very me bag to use while walking (since I take the dog, I need baggies and a way to carry something for her to drink water out of; on no-pocket days which is most days, a bag is a must)

Lose 20 pounds: New outfit (hopefully to wear to Christmas parties!)

Lose 30 pounds: Plan a night out to the theater

Lose 40 pounds: Plan a creativity weekend (w/friends?) and go nuts @ JoAnn Fabrics!

Lose 50 pounds: Plan at least a 3-day trip to Nashville

Lose 60 pounds (GOAL): If it hasn't already been scheduled by other family members, schedule a family portrait; also, I'll need lotsa new clothes!

I think I'm most excited about the one I came up with for 40 pounds lost - the creativity weekend! If it's as motivating I think it will be, I may have to double it for my goal - since new clothes won't really be something I'd have much of an option about by that point! ;)

♥Meg

Week 1: Down 6.8 pounds!!

Oh yeah! Go me! Oh yeah! Go me! If you could see me now, you'd see me doing the goofy little dance that my son and I do whenever we're excited about something we've done. :) 6.8 pounds in week 1!!! YaHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I've done a couple diets in the past where I've lost weight so I know that this is not something to anticipate on a regular basis but I'll take it for now! I'm well on my way to my initial goal of losing 20 pounds by December. Boy, what this tells me is just how off track I was before! I must've been overeating like crazy b/c I don't really feel like I've done all that much to see this kind of weight loss.

Seriously though, for now I don't care about the ins and outs of it all b/c I lost 6.8 pounds!!  

Believe the impossible!!

I love writing...love, love, love it. So you'd think that when I found myself with some time to write today that I'd have tons to say. Yet, there I sat, staring at a blank screen with nothing coming to mind beyond just the white noise you could read just about anywhere. Well rather than sticking with that on a day when I actually had some time to dive into this, I went looking for a little inspiration.

I instantly went to a stash of pictures I'd started pulling together for my vision collage. For non SparkPeople, it's a collection of pictures & words that help you to maintain your vision in reaching your goals. It's amazing how a simple quote or pictures can really grab your attention. There were so many that I found that I loved...I'm sure I'll be sharing all kinds of them in many blogs to come. The one that really grabbed my attention today is this quote from Alice in Wonderland:

How many times have I tried to lose weight believing deep down that 1) there's no way I'm actually going to reach my goal and 2) even if I do, there's no way it will stay that way? I'll tell you how many times: EVERY time. Why? Because it felt IMPOSSIBLE. I always knew that rather than making a life change, all I was doing was getting myself pysched up enough to make it easy and then when it got hard, I'd give up.

But this time...this time I'm sitting on the other side of some things that I once thought were impossible. Things that felt much more impossible than getting myself motivated enough to exercise! I think that's what makes this time feel so much different. It's amazing what the power of having done something you didn't think that you could gives to you. It's a dynamic strength to pull from in times of struggle.

But even when things get tough and that strength is hard to pull from, this quote gives no excuses! Because even when you feel like something is impossible like being able to lose the weight, this gives no way out - it should be a daily thing to BELIEVE the IMPOSSIBLE! I don't know about you but I LOVE that thought! How much more opportunity lies ahead in my day if I choose to believe in what I feel I can't do?!

• On the days when I feel like there's no way I can get up early enough to do any morning exercise - because we all know that some mornings that truly feels impossible - I'll believe I can do it anyway.
• On the days when I feel like it's an overwhelming task and I'll never reach my goal - I'll believe that I will anyway. 
• On the days when the scale goes the opposite direction and that maintaining my focus will be impossible for the rest of the day - I'll believe I can stay focused anyway. 
• On the days when all the motivators in the world aren't working at all, I'll believe that I can do it anyway. 

I know that it's not impossible to do what I'm trying to do. So many people have been stellar examples of being able to change their lifestyle to become healthy. I know that in the past though that I've always lost this battle in my mind well before I ever did on the scale. This time, I'm going to win that battle and if my mind is telling me it's impossible, I'm going to remember the queen of hearts and come right back that it doesn't matter because I believe in the impossible.

♥Meg

Good Choices - even with pizza!!

Yesterday was a GREAT day on the weight loss front! First, not only did I do my daily 10 minutes of exercises but I also broke out the Yoga & Pilates DVD - felt great! :) The second one I'm even more excited about. When trying to figure out what to do for dinner, it'd been a long day and no one felt like cooking so the "p" word came up - PIZZA. I remembered from my previous dieting days that I'd order pizza with peppers & onions, a thin crust, extra sauce & half the cheese. Our local pizza joint offers coupons that if you buy a large you get a medium for free so the boys got pepperoni on the large and I ordered my specialty on the medium.

When it came I couldn't find the nutrition info, I was hungry so I just gave up looking for it and ate what seemed a reasonable amount (about 1/4 of the pizza cut in squares; the equivalent of 2 triangle slices). I kinda wanted more but since I couldn't easily figure out the calories, thought I better stop there. After I ate, it finally dawned on me where I came up with the idea to order the pizza like that - Pizza Hut does a Fit n' Delicious menu. So I quickly search the calories on there thinking I'd probably at least gone to the top end of my calorie intake for the day if not over altogether. Well, I thought, at least it got my veggie intake up there between the sauce & the toppings.

Low and behold - I was fine!! Not only that but I still had about 200 calories to go before I'd hit the top range of my daily calories! I could've had more but by that point I'd been away from the food enough to realize I was actually full. Hmmmm...go figure! :)

Everyday there's a chance to make choices. Really every moment there is. It seems to me that the key is just getting the good to outweigh the bad. To choose the better over the good. The best over the better. Looking at it like that, out of bad, good, better and best I've got a 75% shot of picking a choice that puts me in the right direction. I like those odds. I'll shoot for best but when better & good are still chose over bad, I'll count it a success.

♥Meg

I believe

I stayed within my calories yesterday!! Yahoo! I know I should really only weigh myself once a week but having done this before, I know that the first week or 2 you actually see a lot come off. Soooo...against sound advice I did a weigh-in and am down 4 pounds at this point!! I'm so excited! Which really tells me that my eating was out of control before b/c I really don't feel like I've done much. I'm certainly not exercising like a mad woman or anything. I've met my 10 minute goal each day but come on...that's no marathon or anything.

I really do believe that I can do this. In a way that I have never believed in myself before. I have a mindset that I didn't before. Before I had always felt that there were some things that were just meant to be as they are - I have no control over them or their outcomes and I really let that thinking carry over to my thoughts on weight loss. Now having made some changes that I thought I couldn't before in other areas of my life, I can see my flawed thinking more clearly. I could get on that initial "weight loss high" before and be successful but once that wore off and it became more like work, it fell apart every time. I see now that I can't go there. This has to be something that I can make a lasting change with, not the "go cold turkey" method. I'm not wired that way because once I'd slip up, it was all over. No, now I see it needs to be gradual. I read somewhere that I need to not just accept my mistakes but to enjoy them because that's what makes me me. That thought really had an impact on me. I am accountable for the good choices I make and the bad ones. And one bad mistake doesn't take away from the good choices I can make afterwards.

♥Meg

D-Day is here (Down-A-Couple-Dress-Sizes Day!)

Yesterday was Day 1 for me with this healthier lifestyle. The caption I found with this picture was: Glory lies in the attempt to reach one's goal. I am determined to find glory and to reach my goal!!

I found this incredible website: sparkpeople.com to help me out and I was amazed when I went to enter in the foods I ate - all the nutritional info was calculated for me! Wahoo!! That's been my least favorite part of tracking the foods I eat in the past and here it's all done for me!

I stayed close to my goal though I did go a little bit over. Not as far over as I think I would have gone had I not been tracking all day. And I've learned that my Mickey D's sweet tea has got to go. :( If I hadn't had that and had water instead, I would've not only reached my water goal but would've reached my calorie goal for the day too.

I did stick with my 10 minutes of exercise both yesterday and today. Actually, yesterday was 15 and today I plan to get out and do some exercise later on. If the rain ever stops, it'll be an outside journey. If not, I'll break out a yoga/pilates DVD. Maybe I can get the boys to do it with me? Ha!

So all in all, I feel like it's been a good start. Here's to another beautifully lived day! :)  

♥Meg

Slowing down

I just read the headline of an article about the goal to curb childhood obesity by 2015. This stream of consciousness followed:

• How do they plan to do that?
• Probably a bunch of marketing techniques...
• Get all of America on board with it; get everyone to stop eating fast food so much.
• Yeah right...that'll happen; not with the stories I hear of so many people being expected to work insane hours at their jobs.
• Til that stops, people won't stop chosing the convenience over health.
• Hmmm...bet people used to be healthier b/c you HAD to go home and make dinner. America stopped at dinnertime.
• You can see it in the movies. Miracle on 34th Street - great example. Mr. Macy himself is having a big meeting with his executives and one taps his watch and Mr. Macy says, "oh, yes, we all need to get home for dinner." Not today...
• I wish our culture would swing back that way...I hate the go-go-go mindset.

In the past couple years, I've slowed down a LOT. It started out as a way to isolate myself some because of all that I was going through but once the pace lessened I realized that I really liked it. Slowing down means a lot more than what it can seem to an over-booked outsider (ah-hem, that was me). On the outside to me it looked like giving up my involvment with different groups and different people which seemed like it meant giving up friends. What I've learned is that it means giving up acquaintences - people I had previously given way too much of myself. It also means that I have gained the right to keep 3-4 of my weeknights free because I WANT to be home with my family and I don't need any more reason than that. It means that my time is free to be more available to spend time with those that truly mean the most to me. My inner circle is tighter and so much deeper as a result.

So here's to taking a little time to slow down, to free up the calendar, to just enjoy life at the pace it was taken by nearly every generation before us. And in the process we just might find a little more time to eat healthier, exercise more and sleep better.

Quick update

Today's been a weird day. It's been so long and I feel like I've done about a zillion things with nothing to show for it. The house has toys strung all over it (AGAIN), the dishes need done (AGAIN) and the kids are winning the no-sleep award (AGAIN) despite the fact that the adults are losing miserably. It's not been a bad day though; just one of those where you wonder how in the world you crammed so much in and then wonder how it can look like you did nothing. ;)

I am pretty excited about 2 things that happened today in the weight-loss front. One - I rode a bike today for the first time in YEARS! I was a little shaky (especially given my knee injury from June) but I rode it! The actual riding felt great for my knees; the putting-my-foot-down-if-I'm-getting-off-balance thing kinda hurt a lot. Might be a while before I feel confident on it but I think in time I'd really enjoy it. Either way - it got me up and moving! While the bike ride got cut short, it made it a lot easier to go take a walk to the park with the kids. So 25 min of cardio altogether - not bad for an early start!

The other thing is this great website I found called SparkPeople.com. Wow! To think that I was considering spending money on a not-anywhere-close-to-comparable website for support. This site has so much stuff in it! You can track just about anything you want and there's the community support that I was looking for too. I'm so excited about it!

Well, it's late and I'm ready to crash so just a quick update for tonight. Here's to a great start this week!

♥ Meg

So many changes...

Life has been full of so many big changes over the last several years. I'm at a place now where I feel more content than I have in...well, I'd say a long time but I'm not so sure I've ever felt quite like this. I know a confidence and peace that I didn't even know I was missing. Times before I thought I was strong - now I realize I just knew how to project being strong. I thought I understood what it meant to feel at peace but now I feel like I really get it. I feel like I really GET a lot of things now that I didn't before (or at least didn't get how much I was missing): love, contentment, confidence, a true relationship with God. I've got a new start and, Lord help me, I have every intention of making the most of it.

So that's what this blog is about. I'd gone incognito with my blogging the last few years b/c that's what I needed then. I never stopped writing - I just took some time to write for my eyes only. And they're still there where no one can see them - a place for me & God to talk things out without a web's worth of opinions to weigh in on them. But I've missed sharing thoughts with others. I love writing...really I just plain love being creative but it's not the same to be creative if you don't share it with others. I love this quote by Lucy MacDonald:

"Use your talent (everybody has one) any way you can. Don't keep it for yourself like a miser - spend it like a millionare!"

Isn't that a great thought?!? Whether anyone considers it a talent of mine or not, I do love writing and don't like the idea of being a miser so I'm here to spend, spend, spend!! And really, anything that feels like shopping without the loss of actual money - I'm in! :)

So why now? Well, partly the timing just seems right but it's also that I'm also using this for a little accountability. I've given the whole weight loss thing a shot a couple times before and been successful but I always gained the weight back. With this new mindset, I've realized that before I wasn't content or happy with myself before losing the weight. I always saw it as something that would bring happiness to me. When the weight came off, I'd drop jean sizes, have more energy, etc. but it didn't change the happiness level like I'd expected. What solidified this for me is that a little less than 2 years ago when I was in THE darkest moments of my life, I lost weight without thinking about it. Yet, I felt miserable.

Fast-forward to today. I'm pretty content. I feel good about myself. I feel beautiful and desirable just as I am. I have amazing people in my inner circle that have encouraged to love me for me EXACTLY as I am no matter what the scale says. And lately it's been clicking - I finally love myself. That thing I've heard people say you need to do but I could never quite get it right - I get it now! And because of that, I'm ready to get healthy for me. Not to look a certain way or have people tell me I'm looking great or to say I can fit into a size whatever...no, this is because I want to take care of me. I've got too many dreams not yet acheived to do anything else.

So Monday is D-day (giving myself time to get to the grocery store!). Exercise & healthy eating - here I come!! Exercise - the goal is to do something at least 5 days per week even if it's just 10 minutes and increase as it becomes a part of my routine. Healthy eating - that's a bit more complicated. I know a lot about general nutrition from doing this before (calories, fat, etc.)but I'd really like to try to minimize the processed foods that are part of my diet. There's a LOT of processed, synthetic foods out there that come in easy 100-calorie packs. So while the goal is to get to a more whole foods, natural diet, I may fall back on some old low-cal, low-fat standbys that don't fit into that category to get me started. In the meantime, I'll be studying up on what's healthier in general so that trips to the grocery store don't have to take me hours on end! I've got a journal to keep track of what I'm doing - that was CRUCIAL each time I had any significant, healthy weight loss in the past. Complete with gem stickers to give myself for meeting my eating & exercise goals each day! They're so sparkly & fun...;)

If you're still reading this, I hope I've inspired you in some way (or at least entertained you - ha!). I'd love to know if you're keeping up with me - please sign up as a follower. :) There will be more pictures to come and some music on here as well. I'm excited to share a little bit about the title of this blog and the artist behind it that I met in Nashville but that'll have to be for another day. For now, I'm off to work.

♥Meg