Where I want to be

This room. This is where I find myself wanting to be.

It's the newly converted room for all of our little ones. It's the entire length of the upstairs so not only does all of their bedding fit but there is also a nice area in the middle for them to play with and easily store their toys. It's where all of the shower goodies have gone and all of the baby stuff is going.

I find myself wanting to be there all the time. Putting away her things. Organizing them. Double-checking the diaper bag for the 10th time to make sure everything really is in there and to look at the little-itty-bitty diapers that we'll start out with.

I love sitting in the rocker and thinking about holding her. My frame of reference right now is my 21-month-old stepdaughter...it's hard to imagine one that will just fit onto my shoulder. I can't wait to rock them both, one in each arm.

That room to me is so peaceful. A place where I can sense God so closely, knowing that it really was his voice that I was hearing all those times I felt this was in his plan for me. There were some dark days there for a while but things are looking brighter than ever now. God held my hand in the darkness and I'm enjoying the light that he's led me to. Something about this room encompasses that.

I'm down to just 3.5 weeks until my due date and in some ways it feels like an eternity. I think because I've run out of things to countdown to. There was the wedding, the honeymoon, the 3D ultrasound, the shower...and now, it's just counting down to her arrival which could be anywhere from later today to the end of June if I went over. And all that's left to do in the meantime is to get mine & Eric's bag packed for the hospital.

So while I wait, I'll retreat to the upstairs. I'll sing to her. I'll talk to her. I'll practice my breathing & relaxation techniques. I'll dream of the day that is very close when it will all be real, that she will be here in my arms and I will know the joy of holding a child that I've already held in my womb. ♥