Week 39 - STILL ready for her arrival

Several weeks ago my officemate/longtime dear friend, Elizabeth, and I were discussing when we thought that Miss Sonnie may choose to make her arrival. We both had independently come up with Memorial Day weekend. We're both pretty intuitive people so it must be true.

Not. So. Much.

I know it doesn't hurt for her to stay in there a bit longer...in fact, for her brain development, I know it's good. But I also am learning why women start going bezerk in the last month waiting on their child to arrive. I know the doctor won't let me go over by anymore than 2 weeks so there is an absolute end date. However, when you tell people you have 2 weeks before your due date (giving a window of 4 weeks before the latest date baby could arrive), they start saying "Oh! Could be any day now!!"

And you begin to believe them.

Yes! It could be ANY day...like TODAY! Every morning starts to feel like you've got the potential to open the best present EVER only to have every evening turn into "well, maybe tomorrow..." I think if I knew that she wasn't coming til 2 weeks after my due date, I could just put my game face on and find something else to occupy my brain with but this not knowing is making me obsess over it. Not good.

So the goal this week: somehow, someway get my mind onto something different. Yeah...right. Well, I'll give it a shot anyway. I'm considering creating a couple crafty projects to occupy my mind. Especially since that whole nesting/cleaning thing seems to have passed. Actually, that was just the urge to get all the baby stuff in order...I seem to have very little care to do the last-minute scrub every square inch of the house stuff. I can't even bring myself to care about the dirty dishes in the sink and I only did laundry yesterday because I'm down to a minimal set of pants that are comfy. I might be able to throw myself into a fun crafty project though...got a little cradle for my step-daughter at a second-hand store that I could make super cute.

But even with those efforts, I'm sure I'll still feel every twinge, every cramp, every sign of tiredness or every spurt of energy as a sign that TODAY could be THE day. :) Here's hoping! ;)

Week 38 - Ready for her arrival

Birthing books read & hospital tour complete: CHECK

Baby Showers over & thank you notes sent out: CHECK

Extra items we still needed to get purchased: CHECK

Baby items all have a home & the house is finally in some sense of order (actually, it all works out much better than we'd originally set it all up): CHECK

Bassinet with Angelcare monitor (aka, Mommy's hope for sleep) hooked up: CHECK

Baby clothes, blankets, sheets, burp cloths, bibs, etc. through 3 months washed and put away: CHECK

Car seat & diaper bag ready to go: CHECK

Tutorial session on how to use what looked to be the scary (but wasn't so bad afterall) breast pump: CHECK

Hospital bag packed: CHECK

Major spells of nesting taking over even when completely wiped out: CHECK

Cramping, back pain and other random pre-labor symptoms intensifying: CHECK

Contractions happening at the slightest thought of physical activity: CHECK...(well, maybe not at the thought of it)

Actual labor beginning: WAITING...;)

Where I want to be

This room. This is where I find myself wanting to be.

It's the newly converted room for all of our little ones. It's the entire length of the upstairs so not only does all of their bedding fit but there is also a nice area in the middle for them to play with and easily store their toys. It's where all of the shower goodies have gone and all of the baby stuff is going.

I find myself wanting to be there all the time. Putting away her things. Organizing them. Double-checking the diaper bag for the 10th time to make sure everything really is in there and to look at the little-itty-bitty diapers that we'll start out with.

I love sitting in the rocker and thinking about holding her. My frame of reference right now is my 21-month-old stepdaughter...it's hard to imagine one that will just fit onto my shoulder. I can't wait to rock them both, one in each arm.

That room to me is so peaceful. A place where I can sense God so closely, knowing that it really was his voice that I was hearing all those times I felt this was in his plan for me. There were some dark days there for a while but things are looking brighter than ever now. God held my hand in the darkness and I'm enjoying the light that he's led me to. Something about this room encompasses that.

I'm down to just 3.5 weeks until my due date and in some ways it feels like an eternity. I think because I've run out of things to countdown to. There was the wedding, the honeymoon, the 3D ultrasound, the shower...and now, it's just counting down to her arrival which could be anywhere from later today to the end of June if I went over. And all that's left to do in the meantime is to get mine & Eric's bag packed for the hospital.

So while I wait, I'll retreat to the upstairs. I'll sing to her. I'll talk to her. I'll practice my breathing & relaxation techniques. I'll dream of the day that is very close when it will all be real, that she will be here in my arms and I will know the joy of holding a child that I've already held in my womb. ♥

Baby Shower Day Update

We had such a fun day at the shower on Saturday! We started out with all the girls (so as not to torture the boys with all that ooh-ing and ahhh-ing over gifts) and then had a cookout with the entire family in the evening. I didn't take many pictures with my camera so I'll have to do a little probing with family to get some of theirs!

A family photo with my parents & brother's family; our kids were all there but too scattered about to round up! :)

The pretty & very big spread!! Someone knows how much Mama loves yellow! ;)

Blessed with so much from an amazing family!!

Closer shot of all the goodies :)

My cousin Jen picked out this bag having no idea that the car seat & stroller were these EXACT colors!! Her bag is packed and ready to go for the big day!

I'd posted of a closet take-over picture before the room switches. Here's the new version; we had to add an organizer for all of her stuff!

♥ Happy Baby Shower Day!! ♥

I'm so excited!! It's Baby Shower Day with our family! :) A shower with the girls and then a cookout with everyone. I can't wait! And one step closer to Lil Miss' arrival! Wahoo!

One Month from TODAY!!

Just one short month from today, Sonnie is due to make her arrival!! Wahoo!!

Went to the dr. this week and things are looking good as far as her size and my sugar levels. I was 35w 2d at my appointment and she was around 5.5 pounds...well, according to the not-so-accurate ultrasound anyway. But close enough to average that the doc felt good about it.

He did want me to start coming in for a non stress test (NST) twice a week, but just as a precautionary measure since having GD makes me technically a "high risk" pregnancy. Sounded kind of daunting at first until I did that first one. For about 20 minutes, I got to be in a quiet room, in a comfy leather rocker-recliner, with a stack of magazines next to me and they just hooked me up to a monitor that I can listen to her heartbeat and then it notes any movement she makes. Some people have to mark the movements they feel but I didn't even have to do that - their machine does even that for me! And since the office is RIGHT down the road from work, I don't think I'll cry about having to take a lunch twice a week to do this. ;)

Got some other things on my mind regarding some reading I've been doing on hypnobirthing, the history of women giving birth, and some claims made that the original Hebrew regarding the "labor" women would go through as, instead, "pain" in childbirth in Genesis may have been changed in the early second century translations at a time when women were treated their worst in history. Hmmm, a definite to look into....but that'll have to wait for another post. Just a teaser for now - gotta head out the door soon!

One way to touch many lives

Dear friends of mine, Doug & Cara Layne, are embarking on their 3rd adoption journey to bring home 2 kiddos: one teenage boy that has been in their hearts and lives for several years and a toddler with Downs Syndrome whom they've never met or even know his or her name. Their hearts are huge but anyone who understands international adoption knows that this costs money, money, MONEY!!

In their quest to raise funds though, they've found a way to reach out and help yet another family through the "Both Hands" fundraiser - One for the widow, One for the orphan. Much like a walk-a-thon, they're seeking sponsors but rather than walking, they'll be working with a team to do volunteer work on a widow's home. What a fantastic idea!! :)

Here's a link to their blog post that gives all the details: http://laynejourney.blogspot.com/2011/05/both-hands-one-for-widow-one-for-orphan.html

Will you please consider taking part in this? You hear it all the time but every little bit really does add up (and it's tax deductible)! I believe in this couple and their hearts for these kids. I also know firsthand the challenges of raising an internationally adopted child while also having the financial strain of it dangling in your mind. How awesome would it be for them to be able to have so much support that the up-front finances aren't even a worry!! Please consider supporting them. :)

Just wanna stay home today...

Okay. Scratch the office/sorta-nursery plan. The 3 little ones are all moving upstairs. We're moving into the office downstairs. Which means...lots to do: bring it on!! We spent much of Sunday & Monday like rearranging fools and last night we shopped for the things we needed to get it all into place.

The last thing I want to do is go to work. I want to stay home and set everything up!!

Eh, better get myself in there. I just needed to say publicly that I would very much prefer the jobs that are awaiting me here rather than at the office. ;)

Osama Bin Laden's death & the political games we play...

I actually learned about the news via my Facebook feed in the middle of the night. Eight-month pregnancy symptoms had me wide awake so I checked it on my phone. Once I had scanned back through far enough to figure out what had happened, I began to read the reactions of those on my news feed. Before I react to that, let me first say...

To those who lost loved ones on 9/11, to those who worked dilligently in cleaning up the aftermath, last night's announcement is a long-awaited resolution to their grieving process. Osama Bin Laden is confirmed dead at the hands of our military. A man who personified evil and who has orchestrated harm across the world is gone. While I struggle with rejoicing at someone's death, I am happy for the resolve that this brings to those family members. (Though it's my understanding he was given an opportunity to surrender rather than to be killed? Who knows if that detail is correct...) This was most clearly represented to me by a widow who was interviewed this morning about what this meant to her. She could give the years, months & days it had been since 9/11 and said that this was a fresh start for her. I can't imagine the pain...almost 10 years she's been waiting for this. Waiting for some news of justice that the one who took credit for these attacks would no longer be a threat, in power, or able to go about his life as he pleases while causing so much pain upon others.

And let me also say...

I am happy for the troops that have put their lives on the line for this effort. Again, not to celebrate his death but his removal from power. The sense of accomplishment & victory this brings to them must be overwhelming. Regardless of one's view of the war and the turns that it took, it seems globally clear that the demise of this man's power was an ultimate goal; to have reached that goal has to be very rewarding for them. I, unfortunately, suspect that this news will lead to an insurgence of fighting among Bin Laden's followers and could put our troops more in harm's way in the time to come. I pray for protection, mercy & grace over them and the countless innocent citizens that are often caught in the middle of these things; however, I know that at times of war, this protection I pray for, that millions pray for, is not always possible which saddens me and makes me fear for them and their families.

But now I can't help but to say...

I am so saddened by the responses of so many who want to turn this into an Obama-bashing fest. And before the conservatives come lashing out at me, I should also point out that I'm equally disappointed in those who want to use this as a time to rehash and slam all things Bush. I struggle/struggled with the leadership of both of these men but I do not in any way envy their jobs. You know why? It's crap like this. In my adult life, the only time that I can remember the American people being wholly unified in any way was on 9/11. We went through it together - we all gasped in horror collectively and then we cried together, mourned together, and sought for beauty beyond the rubble together. Why? Because we all lost something that day - together.

Since that time, I've watched our country take a nose-dive with conservatives and liberals being more divided than ever. The arguments I hear sound more and more entitled every time I listen. It's rare to hear an argument that doesn't echo the mindless following of a party's rhetoric. I'm not speaking out against one side or another...quite honestly, I have no faith that either side has it right. In fact, it's this division that people grasp onto so tightly that, I believe, is the foundational demise of our country. And yet, in true capitalistic form, on the night of the announcement that an evil man no longer has reign, many chose to use this as an opportunity to spout their party's agenda rather than just rejoicing in the triumph that this means to those so closely connected to 9/11. Not even a full day of respect could be given to those families before it was turned into a political game.

I know those folks have a right to speak out as they choose so before anyone wants to throw the whole "freedom of speech" argument my way, news flash: I know. I'm exercising my right as well. I typically steer clear of political debates because I've more often than not found them to be more harmful than helpful with many engaging in them for the sake of winning an argument over having an open, all-opinions-valued discussion. But this struck a nerve with me...so today I'm speaking out. In respect for those who are dealing with a loss much greater than your political agenda, let me say a collective "WE DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT [insert political leader here] TODAY!" Let's try to find some kind of unity today for the sake of those fathers/husbands, mothers/wives, children, firefighters, policemen, troops lost forever as a result of 9/11. If we can't find it, even if only for a day, in something so closely linked to an event that brought our nation to its knees, I fear we never will again.