Yet, none of that sounds as appealing as a nap.
I'm sure my drive to do more will pick up. That somewhere along the lines the "nesting instinct" will hit full-force and I will accomplish many great and wonderful things. I had goals for that this weekend. Great lofty goals. They just got interrupted by naps. Oh well...
In talking with bestie Amy, I said that while in many ways Sonnie is my first (first pregnancy, first child that has a chance of looking like me, first newborn), there's a LOT of ways that she's my fourth too (too many things going on with the other 3 kids to really give that overdrive of attention that the first baby typically gets). I don't think that's all bad. Had she been my first in every way, I'm sure I would've been obsessive over all of this stuff. I would've stressed over if this was the right thing to do or if that was the right thing to do. Things would've had to be more "perfect". But this way, I'm just along for the ride and loving every minute. Not to say there aren't things I can get obsessive or worried about but it's really been minimized compared to the potential that's there. There are days that I'm envious of the posts I read on an online board from other FTMs (first time mommies) where they spent their evening playing "tag" with the baby in their bellies for hours, so they say. I've only accomplished this game once and it lasted about 5 minutes. But I also feel so bad when I read about those moms obsessing b/c their baby didn't move for an hour and they're ready to run to the ER. I have to stop and think, "did I feel her move today while I was at work? Oh of course...she was thumping on my bladder like a trampoline in the middle of that meeting! How could I forget?!" I'm sure there were times where she didn't move and I didn't notice. And that's okay. I've got enough awareness that she's got regular movement throughout the day to let me just be at peace and not riddled with worry. It's a nice feeling.
Speaking of things to worry about, I feel like I should update from the last post about my drs appt regarding GD (gestational diabetes). I was very pleased to learn that the doctor not only feels I don't need shots but I also don't need any medication either. Just diet and exercise. Of course. Because I was so good at that before getting pregnant... No seriously, I'm very pleased that this can be managed in that way and I can avoid having to add any meds to my bloodstream. I got my little One Touch at-home glucose testing kit and have to prick myself 4 times a day, 4 days a week. So far my numbers are within the ranges that they want. Ah-hem, well, except for the post-meal reading and the next morning reading after I over-indulged on Pizza Cottage Saturday. We'll call it a lesson in learning about my limits. :) My morning reading today was fantastic though so healthy eating gets me right back on track. I'm sure the 45-min (but very slow) hike helped on Sunday too. There were even hills involved!
So while there are worries to be had like, how in the world will I get everything accomplished that I want to before she comes?!?, there are also the blessings of the current kids in my family to remind me that it'll all be okay. When she comes, she'll work her way into the family just like each of them have and as long as she's got a safe place to sleep, diapers and a food supply, she'll be set for a while.
And in the meantime, while I've still got a fighting chance, I'm taking a nap.
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