A Promise

It was sometime in 2007. I was plugging away at adoption paperwork feeling like it would never get to where it needed to be in the insane timelines they were requesting it to be there. This was an international adoption of a child in Ukraine and their system isn't exactly known to be smooth-sailing. It seemed like the rules changed every time I turned around and it was pushing my limits of sanity for sure. I thought the struggles of infertility were an emotional roller coaster but at this point, I'd deemed this to be worse.

On one particularly draining day, I opened my bible to seek out some comfort with this. Now, I'm not typically the type to close my eyes and pick a verse and call it divine inspiration but on this day, it seemed warranted. I didn't have the energy or hope for much else so I went for this method anyway. I was a bit shocked at how specific God was with me that day when I opened my bible and my finger was resting on Isaiah 60:4b (NASB)...

"Your sons will come from afar and your daughters will be carried in the arms."

Huh?! Did I just read that right? I was expecting a "trust in the Lord..." or "he meets your every need" kind of statement. Not something 1) specifically about a son or 2) about that son coming from "afar"!! And then the kicker with the daughters part. I was so engrossed with the sons part of the verse that I didn't talk as much about the daughters part. But I knew it in my gut at that minute that it was God saying I'd somehow, someway have a baby girl that I'd carry in my arms. And even though I knew there were a host of ways that I could come to parent a baby girl, I really felt that I would carry this baby myself.

This week was the ultrasound for the baby where we could find out what gender it is. I have been so sure since the minute that the little stick said "pregnant" that this baby would be a girl. Talking with my fiance about it even that night, I kept referencing it as a girl knowing that there's no way I should know that. Especially since it took weeks before I really believed that I was actually pregnant. When the doctor said with 99% certainty that it's a girl, I was not shocked one bit.

I love how God communicates with us in so many different ways. This time is was incredibly specific and while it took about 4 years to come to be, it did. It was what was in the back of my mind every time I thought that I should just give up and let go of this whole dream of carrying a child. This little girl, who is healthy in every way they could check her, is beyond a miracle to me. She is the fulfillment of a promise. A promise that I am and will be forever grateful for.