Pregnancy Update

I have been so blessed with this pregnancy. I've had all kinds of symptoms but none incredibly severe.

I had my bouts with nausea, several times that I succumbed to it, meals that I prepared or ordered only to take one bite and have to push it away.

I had that super-sleepy phase where I couldn't pry myself out of bed until 5 minutes before my 14-year-old was headed out the door so I could just say good-bye and then was falling asleep by 7:30 or 8pm at night.

I've had on-and-off struggles with insomnia starting with the night the little stick told us the news. I never went to sleep that night b/c my brain was racing. Then there was a phase when my arms were getting tingly but pillows seemed to alleviate that. Then there was that awful head cold - again, pillows came to the rescue. Now if I can't sleep it's because my left hip goes numb if I lay a certain way on either side of my body...you know, the ways they tell you that you should sleep.

I've had days where I swear if all was silent and you listen closely that you could actually hear my hip bones creaking from all the expanding their doing! It's been such a drastic change that I can feel them sticking out in different ways when I'm trying to get comfy to go to sleep and even just sitting here now, I'm aware of their unusual protrusion.

I'm so excited though b/c now I'm starting to show. I've never been a skinny girl and I tend to carry my weight in my midsection anyway so in some ways, I feel like more than the average girl I just look like I've put on some extra weight. So to be to the point that it's starting to look like the result of a pregnancy rather than a box of donuts, I'm quite thrilled. I know some people hate them but I've fully embraced my maternity wear. So blessed by a friend's hand-me-downs, I love being to the point that I can wear the cute little shirts that scream - "I've got a baby in here!!"

I have loved being pregnant. I mean really LOVED it. Even in the midst of hovering over the toilet, I felt an honest gratefulness for what it meant. At a work party for my fiance last weekend after standing for almost an hour my back was killing me and I started feeling light-headed; while I needed to find a chair ASAP, I loved that it was because of the ever-growing little one inside of me. I'm so excited for this little one to arrive but at the same time, I am savoring every minute of finally having the honor to carry it.

For so many years I'd curse my cycle. One: it was most months miserable, painful and I now realize well beyond what is considered in the realm of "normal". But two: I felt like, "oh sure, you can bring me all the pain but you can't do the other part you're supposed to in giving me a baby! If you're not going to work at all, just DON'T come!!!" Obviously, I'm grateful that didn't happen. And I've been keenly aware of God's timing through all of this. I believe He knew EXACTLY who I needed to be sharing this experience with and where I needed to be in my mental/emotional/spiritual health before taking this on. People would always tell me that "someday" I would understand God's timing with this and it "may not be on this side of heaven" but someday I would. I wanted to punch people when they told me that but in hindsight, it actually happened. I still will do my very best to never say it to anyone who is really struggling b/c essentially saying "at least you'll find out when you die" is never reassuring. But, I am grateful that in this case God did reveal a host of reasons why He was waiting...even though we're not <gasp!> married...Oh, so much I could dive into here but nah...it's just not worth the argument. Besides, I know how God has made it clear to me and to Eric that this baby is of His doing, His timing - that's all I need.

So that's where we are and what's been happening with this pregnancy. This Saturday marks the beginning of week 21 for me which means I have officially hit the halfway point!! Woohoo!! Aaaand, we find out one week from today if the little one is a boy or a girl! Double woohoo!!!! I feel very much like it's a girl but I'm doing all I can to prep my brain that it has just as much of a chance to be a boy. No matter what, it's the first little baby that's given me the joy of pregnancy so it will be loved, loved, loved just as much as all the kids are in my life!! My 14-year-old and I have a bet going b/c he thinks it's a boy. Whoever is wrong has to play chef for an evening and cook whatever the "winner" demands. If I'm right and with the potential for pregnancy cravings, he may have no clue what he's getting himself into!! :)