Oh the hormones...

Well, today is the day...the due date anyway. I've still got about half of June 12th left for her to make her arrival before I officially can be termed "overdue". I've come to accept that since I got so emotional after my appointment on Thursday. I've even pretty much assumed that I'll head to my next doctor's appointment this Thursday to find out the exact same info regarding my dilation & effacement and we'll be talking induction. Yes, yes...she could come any day but mentally, it's just easier to think that I'll be pregnant for another 2 weeks than to keep waking up thinking that today could be the day.

If I sound a little down, it's because I am. It all started in the wee hours of Saturday morning. I had been awake and at one point just started crying. Not tears trickling from my eyes, I'm talking CRYing. The kind you try to keep quiet but you can't. Eric calmed me down before I reached full-on sob but I'm still not sure what made it start and I'm not sure exactly what he did to make it end. All I know is that in no time I went from being a very sane, pleasant pregnant person to feeling irrational and it hasn't quite stopped. I managed not to cry yesterday during the day but felt like I was shortchanging everyone no matter what I did. No one acted like I was but I just felt like I was either harping on the kids too much or not keeping them enough under control, or that every moment I gave one of them attention, all I could think of was who I wasn't giving attention. I even felt guilty when I came home and the poor dog had been alone all day b/c we were at my parents. This morning, I cried over just about everything with ease; and after Eric returned from taking the kids back to their mom, he came in to find me googling "extreme emotions prior to labor" and doing nothing short of, you guessed it, crying.

So I don't know if this ball of emotions means anything as far as Lil Miss' timing of her arrival or if it's yet just one more thing to make me so done with pregnancy that I'll welcome the impending work of laboring this baby out, but I'm really hoping for the former.  In the meantime, the kiddos are all out of the house and while I adore having them around, I think Eric and I will take advantage of the free time and find some things to do to take my mind off this. It's a gorgeous day (as I sit outside to type this) and I'm excited to find something to do that the 90 degree heat that we've been having would otherwise kill for a 40-week preggers like myself. And I will attempt to do it without crying. ;)