God Loves you - Even If You're Divorced - Part 2

Disclaimer: I put this on Part 1 as well but assuming that some may not have read that one, I'll place it on here too...Apparently after my initial posting of this, some felt it was my cryptic way of telling the world "what really happened" in my own divorce and in turn, have taken it upon themselves to create drama and spread lies. Please...to the ones this applies to: don't give yourself that much credit. This was written with the intent of supporting many people who I know that are wrestling with the struggles below - NOT of spilling the sordid details of my life or to be a cryptic tell-all. This blog will never be used for that intent. I have more class than that and I have no use for those who don't. If you've come here with that intent, please don't come back.

I left off from the last post with this: "You want to worry about where the sin is? It's believing so little of how God loves us that we put His law above His grace and in turn encourage people to stay where an emotional cancer will continue to eat away at them." This gets to the heart of my next point: BELIEVE in the fact that God LOVES you beyond our American type-A, do XYZ and you'll be the perfect Christian ways. God's law is important and I am not trying to de-value it in any way. However, I do think that the current vibe in the white American, evangelical, conservative Christian church is to put the law on such a pedestal that, to me, it often-times looks no different than what the Pharisees were doing to the law in biblical times. (If you do not know what a Pharisee is or if you just want to read a thought-provoking article, I suggest this: http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/6054640/are_there_pharisees_today_pg3.html?cat=9)

Some will instantaneously believe what I'm about to say is heresy but I say this from a deep devotion to loving God, believing in his word and truly loving his people. If you choose to see it otherwise, I can't change that, so here goes: Think of how long there have been people on earth and the relatively short time in comparison that those people have had the bible easily accessible to themselves. According to a brief google search, the very first printing press was invented in the 1400's. The shortest earth time spans given are somewhere between it being 6,000-10,000 years old and then of course there are scientists that believe it in being billions of years old. Let's use the shortest one as our time frame for the sake of argument. God's been in the picture all of those 6,000 years but only 10% of the time (600 years) has there been a printing press that allows for the bible, HIS WORD that we're supposed to follow to the letter, to be printed accessibly. Before the printing press, it took approximately 20 years to make ONE replication of the bible so the number of replications had to be in short supply. Not to mention that it took time for the printing press to make it's way across continents to all people and then literacy was an issue.

So for most of the history of man, God had to communicate with His people in some capacity that did NOT include the written word. I'm not saying to ignore it altogether by any stretch; we are incredibly blessed to have God's word at our fingertips and should take that responsibility seriously. But what I am saying is that just because it's in the Bible doesn't mean that God is forever bound to everything having to fall into what parameters we read out of it. People constantly disagree on what the bible means. Take lying for example: in one part of the bible it says that liars go to hell (at my conservative Christian college, this was taught so much that it was a popular catch phrase). But in another part Rahab - a prostitue - LIED to keep the Israelites safe in Jericho and is hailed as a hero. Ask any Christian if lying is okay though and they'll focus on the fact that it'll send you to hell or at the very least that it's one of the commandments not to do so. I've heard some Christians argue that there are NO exceptions, even if your life is at stake. But obviously there are exceptions to this if, just books later in the Old Testament, it tells the heroic story of Rahab. And I don't think that Rahab was the only exception of all time just because she was the ONE that was written about in the bible. Do I believe this justifies lying whenever we want to or even a majority of the time? Of course not. I do think though that there are times that God will expect us to trust his leading and his direction beyond just mindlessly following a rule, such as was the case with Rahab. If we are following the rule just for the sake of perfection, I believe that God will actually test us on this.

One of my bibles with the smallest print is 1208 pages...one thousand, two hundred and eight pages to tell EVERYTHING that God has to say over the course of ALL eternity... He created all of the earth, moon, stars, sun, EVERYTHING. He designed the human body to heal itself and to function with all of its intricacies. He made different seasons and different climates all over the world. He created so many species that more are discovered every day - our humanity can't keep up with it! But he only has 1208 pages worth of wisdom for us?!?!? Try again. Many times he talks through His word but sometimes He talks through our GUT!! I haven't even dove into the whole thought of tribal-type people who never hear of God but somehow know in their hearts that there is one; or people that learn of God from short term missionaries but only have a weekly or monthly church service to learn about Him from then on and no literacy to read the bible on their own. Do you think they worry about the mundane details of the word that we get so wrapped up in b/c we have every resource at our fingertips?!?! NO!! Sometimes, God uses common sense to get through to us but we're so "book smart" about Him, we miss the point!! How many "book-smart, common-sense dumb people do you know? It applies to Christianity too!!

All of this is to say that once you've sought out biblical advice, you've talked with people you know and trust, you've poured through the scriptures, and you've prayed with all of your heart, God will speak to you. Sometimes it will be right in line with scripture. But sometimes, it will surprise you. If we could figure out everything about God through a formula (and yes, conservative Christianity, you oftentimes boil God down to a formula), we wouldn't be serving the God that we simultaneously believe can do any & all. To truly trust God, sometimes you have to believe that what he's telling your gut - what you can't shake well after you've sought out every other possible avenue - is exactly what you need to do. I'm not justifying a whim-based decision. We all have all kinds of thoughts all the time that have nothing to do with God speaking to us. I'm talking about something that goes so deeply that you feel it's a part of you.

To those in that situation, know that it's okay to explore what you feel your gut (aka, God) is telling you. While you may decide later that it's nothing or just a brief fantasy of escaping life for a bit, it can also be something very real...it's OKAY to believe in your gut that it just may be God saying to get out! My heart has broken many times over for those who are in relationships that have created more brokenness than love. You don't have to want a miracle. You have permission to NOT want a miracle. You are no less of a Christian b/c you don't want to see this through to the miracle. Of course there are times that God will work a miracle in a relationship. What I'm saying here isn't a suggested first course of action. But I do believe there are times that people know and believe in their gut that the miracle will never come. God CAN work miracles but that does not always mean that he DOES. Oftentimes in our humanness we make mistakes; sometimes I believe the miracle is in a restored relationship and sometimes I believe the miracle is in the grace to find emotional health otherwise. God LOVES you, LOVES you, LOVES you. This statement has application for all but I especially want to speak out to those in abusive situations: you would NEVER ask your own child keep their promise to be in an abusive situation to prove their love to you...you wouldn't even think of it. But staying with an abusive husband because you made a vow is exactly what you are thinking that God expects of you. Keeping your wedding vow & staying in an abusive relationship to prove your love and loyalty to God. He LOVES you more than that...SO. MUCH. MORE.

Jesus himself said in Matthew 11:30: "For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” I don't believe that he is saying that all of Christianity is smooth sailing - look at what he endured on our behalf. However, I do believe that we oftentimes get so focused on finding perfection in following the law, that we completely throw grace out the window and in turn, we create an unneccesary burden on ourselves and others. I want to speak out on behalf of grace. I've been blessed enough to, for the first time in my life, truly understand what it's all about. I honestly believe it's a sin that modern Christianity treats it as something that only has to do with salvation. God loves us and wants good things for us. I think it's time we start actually believing that.